I know how it feels and how hard it is because i speak from my personal experiences with depression, self harm, previous suicide attempts and i used to be a cutter for about a year, i completely understand how hard it is to stop once you've become addicted to it. it's like becoming addicted to smoking or alcohol that's how hard it is to stop self harming.
I actually only stopped cutting like last month and i'm hoping to never start again.
so please. try and stop before you become addicted!
if you think it's hard to get help now, wait until the day you cut to deep, you have to go to hospital, then everyone will know that you cut yourself, you will have to explain to the doctors what had happened.
so try and get help as soon as possible
I know and understand that it's a scary to try and get help, that it's a scary thing to talk about, but just try your hardest to tell a counsellor, or a friend or trusted adult.